thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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