So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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