i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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