she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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