You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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