Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
time to smoke my breakfast
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
