i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
