She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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