I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
