How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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