escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
