I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
