sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
