You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
