i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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