I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
