This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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