I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
