you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
