this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
