I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
