I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
