i just had sex bonerless
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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