sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
