the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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