The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So drunk its hurt
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
