I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
