just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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