theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
