She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
