A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
