...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
