saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
