I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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