bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
