i permit you to call me
You smell like stripper and shame
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
