why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
