i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
