So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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