Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
