Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
