Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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