just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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