why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
