Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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