We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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