I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
