id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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