He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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