I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
